


It's A Trap!

by SapphyreLily



Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Alternate Universe, Crossdressing, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-30
Updated: 2016-01-30
Packaged: 2018-05-17 05:46:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,740
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5856469
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SapphyreLily/pseuds/SapphyreLily
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Akashi and Kuroko are conducting a little experiment when the rest of the Generation of Miracles get involved.</p>
            </blockquote>





	It's A Trap!

**Author's Note:**

> Hohoho this was fun to write.
> 
> Disclaimer: I wish I owned Kuroko no Basuke, but I don't.

“Akashi-kun... “

“Kuroko. Are you ready?”

“As ready as I will ever be. Why are we doing this again?”

“It’s a social experiment.” Akashi checked his reflection a last time before heading for the front door. “Come on. Let’s go amaze the masses.”

x.x.x.x.x

“Wow, she’s so pretty.”

“Do you think those are contacts?”

“She'll fit perfectly in my lap.”

Kuroko kept his face to the floor as he clung to Akashi’s arm. The redhead continued walking forward, ignoring the admiring and lustful gazes sent after them. “Tetsuna-chan, you’re supposed to be counting the number of people who gawk at us.”

“I am. So far, thirty high school boys, fourteen middle school boys, three working men. I started counting when we left Seiyuuka-san’s house.” Kuroko’s eyes darted about even though his head was lowered.

Akashi patted his arm cheerfully. “That’s my Tetsuna-chan. Always so hardworking. “

“Er... Excuse me...”

The duo stopped at the sound of the voice, their eyes meeting those of a shy high school boy's. Akashi raised one perfectly plucked eyebrow. “Can we help you?”

“Ah, well, you see...” The boy gulped. “My friend and I were wondering if the two of you were dating.”

Akashi’s turned to Kuroko with a questioning tilt of his head. “Are we? Tetsuna-chan?”

“You’re being embarrassing, Seiyuuka-san. Please don’t answer that.” Kuroko's falsetto whispered, sweet and lilting.

“Oh? But he asked so politely.” Akashi pouted, turning to Kuroko. “Could we show him instead?”

“S-seiyuuka-san! We’re in public!”

“Oh. Guess not then.” Akashi covered his mouth with a hand, giggling lightly. The two high schoolers gaped at them with a slight blush on their faces.

“Ne, Mr. Stranger.”

“Ah, yes?” The boy was clearly flustered.

“Why are you and your friend blushing? You must be thinking dirty things, right?” Akashi smiled sweetly as the boy’s blush deepened. “Well, I have news for you. Girls happen to go around holding each other’s hands for no good reason. It doesn’t mean anything.”

“But, you and her– You look so close–“

Akashi sighed. “Tetsuna-chan, what time is it?”

“Three-fifteen, Seiyuuka-san.”

“Mm, the movie should be starting soon. We wouldn’t want to miss the previews.” Akashi turned away, adjusting his grip such that Kuroko was holding his hand instead of his arm. “Goodbye, Mr. Stranger. Maybe you and your friend would like to visit the bathroom sometime soon.” He nodded at his pants. “You seem to have a _little_ problem.”

“Seiyuuka-san.” Kuroko lightly reprimanded as they walked away. “You were too crude.”

“Ah, but it’s such fun to toy with them.” Akashi smiled lazily. “Oh look, a bathroom. Shall we freshen up?”

They stepped inside the ladies' room and Kuroko breathed a sigh of relief to find it empty. Akashi squeezed his hand reassuringly. “Hair check.”

They looked each other over, helping the other to adjust the hair extensions into a more natural looking style. Satisfied with his handiwork, Akashi swept the long strands of Kuroko’s wig off his shoulder. Kuroko tugged playfully on the end of Akashi’s ponytail.

“Makeup?”

“Yes.” They spent another few minutes applying makeup on themselves and each other. At one point, another group of girls came in, but paid them no heed – reapplying makeup was something that all girls did, after all.

The duo quickly checked the last parts of their outfits – skirts not too long, socks pulled high, shirts wrinkle-free. Thus refreshed, they stepped out and headed for the cinema.

x.x.x.x.x

Akashi flopped onto the sofa of their shared apartment, sighing with contentment. “That was fun.”

“Really, Akashi-kun. Your definition of fun is so bizarre.” Kuroko slumped on the cushions next to him, flexing his feet. “I hate heels. Even though those on the boots weren’t very high.”

Akashi grabbed Kuroko’s feet and began massaging them, making the blunette moan with delight. “I agree that they are awful, but don’t you enjoy being taller?”

“Mm. Yes. No. I will make a list.” Kuroko leaned back against the armrest before shooting up again, rubbing at his scalp. He quickly began pulling out the pins that held the wig in place, dropping each one onto the coffee table with a clink. The wig came off last, and he threw it onto the table with a flourish, dropping back onto the sofa in relief.

Akashi chuckled at his display. “Really, Kuroko. Next time just tell me that you do not want to dress up with me.”

“I am perfectly fine with dressing up. I am not okay with the gawking.”

“That’s precisely why I said this is a social experiment. What are today’s numbers?”

“Ninety-two high schoolers, thirty-nine middle schoolers, fifty-seven working men.”

Akashi typed the numbers into his phone after ensuring that they tallied with those he noted. “Across the span of twenty outings, we have a total of 3,735 high schoolers, 621 middle schoolers and 386 working men.”

“That is an impressive, but terrifying number.”

“I agree. Imagine what other girls who actually have chests have to go through.”

Kuroko snorted. “No wonder Aomine-kun is so protective of Momoi-san.”

Akashi made a vague noise of agreement. “Do you think we should ask Momoi-san to join us? Her presence would add an interesting set of data.”

Kuroko thought about it. “That sounds good. Momoi-san would like to examine the data that we already have as well.”

“Then it’s settled. I’ll call Momoi.”

x.x.x.x.x

“Tetsu-chan! Sei-chan!”

The pinkette ran up to the duo, hugging them energetically. In return, Kuroko patted Momoi on the back while Akashi tried to hug her back with only one arm. “It's nice to see you, Satsuki-chan.”

Momoi pulled back with a wide grin at the use of her name, examining them from top to toe. “Don't you two look pretty today!”

“Do we? Thank you very much.” Kuroko twirled a strand of hair around his finger, pink stained lips pulling up slightly.

“Satsuki-chan looks amazing as well. Did Aomine help you dress?” Akashi teased.

Momoi laughed. “Of course not! Dai-chan would never help. But,” she leaned in, “He said he might come along to meet my old friends. He asked how he had never met them before.”

Kuroko and Akashi exchanged an amused look. “If he only knew.”

The trio began their walk through the mall, chattering loudly and giggling madly. They stopped in every other clothing or shoe store, trying on outfits and giving opinions. Every where they went, they left a trail of male suitors drooling over their presence. It wasn’t long before the boys started following them, hoping to snare one of the three beauties.

x.x.x.x.x

“Hah? What are you talking about?”

“I’m _saying_ , Momoicchi has been going shopping with these girls and everyone’s talking about them! My manager wants me to see if I can catch them to join our agency. They’re supposed to be gorgeous.” Kise leaned forward, gesturing wildly and nearly knocking Aomine's drink over.

“Gorgeous, huh? What’s their cup size?” Aomine looked mildly interested.

“My sources say they’re flat, but–“

“Flat? Forget it.” Aomine slumped, his daydreams dashed.

“Mou! Aominecchi! Having big boobs isn’t everything.” Kise pouted, but then sat upright, remembering a tiny detail. “Ne, Aominecchi. “

“What? You already killed my fantasies, stop depressing me–“

“One of the girls is supposed to look just like Kurokocchi.” Kise smiled slyly as the blunette’s posture became just a little straighter.

“Huh. Maybe we should try and find these girls then. I did tell Satsuki I would come.”

“Well, call her and ask where they are! Didn’t Momoicchi go out with them today?”

“She did mention something like that.” Aomine stuck a finger in his ear and scratched, lazily fishing out his phone. He dialled with one hand, tapping the table impatiently until it connected. “Oi, Satsuki, where’re you?”

_“Mou, Dai-chan! You could at least say ‘hello’!”_

There was soft whispering on the other line. Aomine caught a few words of ‘ _infamous Dai-chan_ ’ and an excited ‘ _coming here?_ ’, the unfamiliar voices confirming that Momoi was with the mystery girls.

Aomine made a big show of yawning. “Satsuki, are you at the same mall you told me about this morning?”

 _“Yep! But I bet you don’t know which one. You weren’t listening, were you?”_ Her voice was teasing. Aomine could make out a flurry of giggles in the background and scowled.

“So tell me again and I’ll come find you guys!”

_“Are you sure, Dai-chan? You might get lost.”_

Kise was waving his arms wildly, gesturing at the phone. Aomine glowered at him but passed it over, sore that his best friend doubted his navigational prowess.

“Moshi moshi, Momoicchi? Yeah, I just got off work and ran into Aominecchi. I know where all the malls are, so why don’t you tell me where to find you instead?”

Kise looked out of the window as Momoi rattled off some instructions, smiling as he said his goodbyes and hung up. “We’re in luck, Aominecchi! The mall’s just round the corner. And,” his eyes glinted impishly, “They're buying lingerie.”

x.x.x.x.x

“They took the bait?” Kuroko whispered as Momoi shut her phone. The pinkette smiled grimly.

“They did. What are you going to do?”

“Continue as we have been doing.” Akashi instructed. “I believe this may be the best way to test the theory. Though for all we know, Aomine and Kise could be privy to the idea of males in ladies’ clothing.”

“You and Tetsu-chan are too pretty for your own good,” Momoi sighed. “Let's just hope that Dai-chan’s love for big boobs pulls through on this one.”

“What about Kise-kun?”

“That's a little trickier. We already know Kise is extremely fond of Kuroko.”

Kuroko gave Akashi a sour look. “Thank you for bringing that up, Seiyuuka-san.”

Akashi folded his arms. “As long as neither of them see us in the changing rooms, we’ll be alright. We’ve fooled quite a few people thus far.”

“Men aren't allowed in the changing rooms.”

“Desperate predators are not to be underestimated. Just look at that crowd outside the store.”

“Fair enough.”

Momoi sighed and pushed the two of them back into the cubicle. “Finish trying on the remaining ones and let’s go. Trust me, those men are no joke, especially without Dai-chan around to scare them off.”

“Aomine-kun is likely to be on their side this time.”

“Not if I can help it.” Momoi said firmly. “You’re supposed to be my friends; he’ll protect you if needs be.

“Now hurry. Ki-chan may be the dangerous one in this situation.”

x.x.x.x.x

“Momoicchi!” Kise ran up to the pinkette in excitement, Aomine trailing close behind. The blunette eyed the huge crowd of men warily.

_Seriously? It’s just two flat girls and Satsuki._

_Oh shit, what if they’re here for Satsuki!?_

Aomine picked up his pace without looking ahead and ended up bowling Kise over.

“Oww! Aominecchi!”

“Sorry, sorry.” Aomine stood up and brushed himself off, eyes flicking about until they landed on Momoi and the two girls beside her. “Oh, Satsuki. You didn’t mention that your friends were taller than you.”

“Dai-chan! That’s insulting!” Momoi crossed her arms over her chest. Aomine could almost hear the longing sigh of the crowd behind them, and it was enough to send him into a rage. He grabbed the pinkette's hand and dragged her off, his other hand grasping the linked arms of the two flat girls.

“Come on, let’s go someplace quieter. There are too many idiots here.” He glared menacingly at the other men as he barrelled through the crowd, barely hearing Kise's panicked “Wait for me!”. Momoi’s grip on his hand tightened almost imperceptibly and she took charge, leading them to a small café.

A bell jingled as they entered, and a familiar voice greeted them.

“Welcome~”

Murasakibara turned around, his eyebrows raising when he saw their entourage. “Orara? What’s this?”

Momoi flung herself onto a barstool at the counter, resting her head on her arms. “We’ve got a pack of hyenas after us.”

“Hyenas?” The purplehead looked out. “Oh, this is bad~ Shall I lock the store?”

“Please, if you don’t mind, Mukkun. It’d be a great help.”

Murasakibara wandered off to lock the café and turn its sign from ‘Open' to ‘Closed'. Akashi and Kuroko went up to the counter as well, hoisting themselves up next to Momoi and mimicking her posture. Aomine and Kise slotted themselves in the spaces between the three girls, with Kuroko and Akashi on either side of Kise and Aomine between Kuroko and Momoi.

Akashi turned his head to blink at Kise from under his lashes. “Hi. Are you Satsuki-chan’s friend as well?”

Kise blanched a little when he looked at the girl properly.

_She looks a lot like Akashicchi. Oh no, I’ll never see Akashicchi the same way again!_

_...I wonder what Akashicchi looks like in a dress?_

He cleared his throat to buy himself some time and to kick his ridiculous thoughts into the trash. “Ah, yes. I’m Kise Ryouta. Nice to meet you.”

The girl’s eyes widened, and she straightened up immediately, covering her mouth with her hands. “Oh my gosh, Kise-sama... I never thought I’d get to meet you in real life... You're so much more handsome in person– This is so unreal! Tetsuna-chan! Am I dreaming?!”

Kuroko peeked over Kise’s shoulder, rolling his eyes at Akashi’s dramatics. “No, Seiyuuka-san. Do you want me to pinch you?”

“No, no, that’s fine...”

Kuroko sighed mightily. “Kise-san, kindly forgive my friend. She’s been a fan of yours since forever.”

“Really? I’m very glad to meet you, then.” Kise held out a hand to Seiyuuka, and she took it with one hand, the other still covering her mouth. She squeezed his hand once, twice, as if she still couldn’t believe it was really him. Then she snatched her hand back and cradled it to her chest, her eyes shining. “You're real... Not part of a dream... Oh my goodness.”

Tetsuna sighed and slid off her chair, walking round Kise. She placed a hand on her friend’s shoulder and slapped her lightly on both cheeks before giving her a good shake. “You’re not dreaming. Please stop making a fool out of yourself in front of your idol.”

Kuroko turned around and gave Kise a long-suffering look. “My apologies, Kise-san. Allow me to knock some sense into my friend.” Saying so, he dragged Akashi off his chair and into a darker corner of the café.

Kise was stunned. “Aominecchi?”

“Yeah?” The blunette's bored tone seemed forced, and he was also staring after the girls.

“Doesn’t that smaller girl _really_ look like Kurokocchi? “

“Yeah. Speaks like Tetsu too.”

“Wait a minute. Her name is Tetsuna, isn’t it...?” Kise stared into the shadows where the duo had disappeared into.

“Ki-chan, just because her name is similar to Tetsu-kun's and she looks like Tetsu-kun doesn’t mean you can get weird ideas.” Momoi scolded.

“W-what weird ideas?” Kise's lips were pressed into a thin line, as if he was trying not to smile.

Momoi rolled her eyes. “Things like putting Tetsu-kun in a dress. That sounds cute, but no.”

“Great idea, Satsuki. I’ll call Tetsu.”

“Dai-chan, no!”

Kuroko's phone began ringing from an inner pocket of the vest he was wearing, and he fished it out, thankful it was on silent mode. He blanched when he saw the name.

“Moshi moshi? Aomine-kun?”

Akashi started when he heard the name as well, peeking out of their shadowy corner to see that yes, Aomine really was on the phone and calling Kuroko.

_“Oi, Tetsu, where are you now?”_

“I am at home. Aomine-kun has disrupted my reading, and I am very upset with him.”

_“Aw, come on. It’s just a book.”_

“That is why Aomine-kun is an uneducated basketball idiot.”

_“Oi!”_

“Goodbye.” Kuroko hung up and tucked the phone back inside his vest. After taking a few deep breaths, he turned to Akashi. “Should we make a reappearance?”

Akashi nodded shortly and took Kuroko’s hand, marching back into the fray.

Aomine was staring at his phone as if it was a foreign object. “He put down the phone on me!”

“Who?” Akashi asked, tilting his head to one side as the blunette and blond jumped.

“A friend.” Aomine replied vaguely once he recovered.

The taller boys spent the next few seconds staring at the ‘girls’ in puzzlement, only to be snapped out of their reverie as Murasakibara reappeared with clinking cups.

“Oh, Mukkun, thank you! When did you disappear?”

“Hmm? I went after I closed the shop. You just didn’t notice~” The purplehead slid cups with their favourite drink inside to each of them.

The taller girls took theirs with soft thanks, leaving Aomine and Kise amazed again at how much they resembled a couple they knew.

Kise hedged the question first. “Excuse me, Tetsuna-san, but are you related to Kuroko Tetsuya by any chance?”

Kuroko looked up calmly, hoping that his panic wasn’t showing in his eyes. “Tetsuya-kun? We’re distant cousins.”

“Oh?” Aomine leaned forward, his eyes sparking with interest. “How come Tetsu's never mentioned you?”

“Dai-chan!” Momoi smacked Aomine’s arm. “She said they’re _distant_ cousins!”

“So?”

“Use your brain! How often do _you_ see your distant cousins?”

“Never.”

Momoi folded her arms, her expression scathing. The blunette sighed. “Fine, fine.”

“So, Tetsuna-san.” Kise hedged, turning his back on the quarrelling duo. “If Kurokocchi’s never mentioned you, you must live pretty far away, right? If I may ask, why are you in Tokyo?”

Kuroko stirred his drink, taking a sip before answering. “I came to visit Seiyuuka-san. We’ve been apart for such a long time.”

“Eh?” Kise went pale at the suggestion, and Akashi smiled suggestively.

“Tetsuna-chan, don’t give Kise-sama ideas. He’ll never marry me if he thinks we’re together.”

“I’m trying to protect your dignity, Seiyuuka-san, so forgive me if I use methods that are usually beneath me.”

“How kind.” Akashi covered his cheeks with both hands, pouting prettily before sticking his tongue out at Kuroko. He turned to the stunned Kise, grabbing on to his elbow and leaning against him. “Ne, Kise-sama.”

“Y-yes?” Kise had a hard time focusing on the redhead. The blunette was pretty, and she looked too much like Kuroko for comfort.

Akashi pouted up at him. “Stop looking at Tetsuna-chan and pay attention to _me_.”

“Sei-chan, if you say that you’ll scare Ki-chan away.”

Akashi let go immediately, turning to Momoi with mock anger. “You. I haven’t scolded you yet.”

“Whatever for, Sei-chan?” Momoi’s eyes were wide and innocent as she twirled a lock of hair around her finger.

“You knew Kise-sama and didn’t introduce me earlier? What sort of a friend are you?” Akashi folded his arms and turned away with a huff, his nose in the air.

Momoi giggled inwardly at the act. _Akashi-kun is such a good actor._

“The kind who wants her friend to not look like an idiot in front of her idol?” She suggested.

Akashi scowled at her. “Now you sound like Tetsuna-chan.”

“Okay, okay, enough girly nonsense.” Aomine butted in. He slid closer to Kuroko, ignoring the glares the girls sent him. “So, Tetsu. Would you go out with me?”

Kuroko glowered at the blunette, ignoring Kise's horrified spluttering behind him. “I do not date people I don’t know.”

Aomine grinned, unfazed. “But if we became friends you would?”

“No. Who gave you permission to give me a nickname?”

“Aw, come on–“ Aomine wheedled, trying to slip a hand over Kuroko’s shoulder. Kuroko’s hand came up reflexively, shooting one of his famed Ignite Punches into the bigger boy’s stomach.

Aomine collapsed on the floor, wheezing in pain. Momoi hovered over him helplessly, her hands reaching forward then retracting repeatedly as she panicked. “Dai-chan, are you alright?”

“My apologies, Aomine-san,” Kuroko said stonily. It was clear to everyone that the blunette was anything but sorry. “I do not appreciate being touched by strangers.”

Aomine wheezed in response, rolling about on the floor in pain. “Satsuki, I feel like Tetsu just punched me.”

“Huh? What are you talking about? Tetsu-chan punched your stomach, not your head.”

Aomine waved an arm weakly. “No, no. Tetsu _ya_ , not Tetsu _na_. Why do their punches feel the same?”

“I try to keep myself fit to ward off predators such as yourself, Aomine-san.” Kuroko turned back to his drink with feigned disinterest. “It has served me well to maintain a certain degree of strength.”

“Girls shouldn’t be that strong,” Aomine exhaled shakily. “Even Satsuki's not that strong.”

“In case you haven’t noticed, Dai-chan, Tetsu-chan is taller and better built than me.”

“Yeah, well–“

“What is going on here?”

A familiar scathing voice made them all turn to the counter, where Midorima had just appeared, frowning severely. Only Akashi and Murasakibara noticed how he had come in through the back of the store. The greenhead peeked over the edge of the counter, huffing in exasperation when he saw Aomine. “Get off the floor. Do you know how filthy it is?”

“Not my fault,” the cobalt-haired boy grumbled, carefully pulling himself upright. “I got punched by Tetsu.”

“Tetsu...?” Midorima glanced about. “I don’t see Kuroko.”

“Not that Tetsu. This one.” Aomine jabbed a finger in Kuroko’s direction. “This is Tetsu _na_.”

Midorima’s frantic blinking revealed how startled he was. To hide his flustered state, he glanced around the room, his gaze eventually landing on the redhead girl. His eyebrows furrowed in confusion and recognition. “Wait a minute...”

“Midorima-san, was it?” The redhead cocked her head to one side, smiling slightly. “Satsuki-chan mentioned you before. It's nice to meet you.”

Midorima scrutinised her for a few more seconds, still confused. Then a light of understanding shone in his eyes and they flickered from redhead to blond to the two blunettes, raising an eyebrow questioningly.

Akashi scowled at him. He knew what  greenhead was up to. _Play along._

Midorima folded his arms and rolled his eyes. _No._ _This has gone on long enough, I believe._

Akashi's hands clenched into fists on the table. _Spoilsport._

Midorima's expression turned stern. _Enough nonsense._

Kise was very confused at this silent interaction. “Midorimacchi? Do you know Seiyuuka-san?”

The greenhead scoffed. “I know ‘her’ as well as you and Aomine do. The same goes for Tetsuna-san. Are you two so blind?”

Aomine threw a balled up paper napkin at Midorima's head. “We just met them, idiot. Are  saying we've met before?”

“Mine-chin is denser than fruit cake.”

“Oi!”

“Murasakibara is right.” Midorima sniffed. “Kise, are you telling me you notice nothing as well?”

“Uh...” The blond glanced down at the blunette girl. “Tetsuna-san looks like Kurokocchi and Seiyuuka-san sort of looks like Akashicchi?”

At that, Akashi sighed and slumped onto the table while Kuroko dropped his head into his hands. Kise looked at the both of them in bewilderment. “Huh? What’s going on?”

Momoi sighed. “Oh, Ki-chan. I expected this of Dai-chan, not you.”

“What’s to supposed to _mean_ , Satsuki?”

“It means that Kise actually has a good sense of observation, unlike you. Momoi is simply commenting that his confusion is unnecessary.” Midorima turned to glower at the redhead. “As for you two, how long were you going to keep the façade up?”

“I almost had enough data. Just a bit more would have been good, you meddling carrot.” Akashi whined in Seiyuuka’s voice. “Tetsuna-chan, statistics.”

“327 middle schoolers, 593 high schoolers and 148 working men.” Kuroko droned. He was so exasperated, his voice dropped to its usual timbre at the end.

Kise and Aomine watched in mute confusion as Seiyuuka punched the numbers into her phone, stealing unsubtle glances at Tetsuna. That voice was as familiar to them as their own, and could only belong to one person. “Did you–? Wait, are you–?”

Kuroko sighed and slipped off his chair, walking to Akashi’s far side so that the redhead was between him and the larger boys. “I'm not answering that.”

Aomine and Kise gaped at Kuroko’s voice emanating from the cute girl. Behind them, Momoi, Midorima and Murasakibara sighed.

Kise broke the silence first, his eyes lighting up.

“Kurokocchi!!” He tried to grab Kuroko from reaching around Seiyuuka, only to freeze when he found a teaspoon handle pressed in the space between his third and fourth rib. The redhead grinned creepily up at him through her fringe, red eyes glinting dangerously.

“One step closer, Kise, and your heart will be impaled by a spoon. Such a tragic way to die, don’t you think?”

Aomine immediately took a step backwards. He had been inching around the redhead, but at the sound of _that_ voice...

Kise shuddered and took a step away. That particular tone and pitch of voice was not something one forgot easily. “Please no, Akashicchi, no.”

Akashi smiled in satisfaction and lowered the spoon. Kuroko plucked the phone from his hand and began examining the numbers without a care, leaving Akashi to deal with the duo himself.

Both blond and blunette shuddered at the picture they made. _Beautiful and dangerous._ Akashi rested his fist on his hand, twirling one of the hair extensions carelessly. “Your thoughts.”

“Huh?”

“Do Kuroko and I make convincing females or not?”

“Ah, I, um–“

Momoi jumped in with a sympathetic look at the duo. “Ki-chan means yes.”

“I am grateful for the input, Momoi-san, but I want to hear their opinions.”

Aomine stared at Kuroko, his fingers twitching. “I'd have done you even though you’re flat.”

“Thank you for your judgement, Aomine-kun.” Kuroko said drily. “If you could have said that in a little less vulgar a manner, it would have been nice.”

“Kurokocchi, are you sure you can’t get a sex change? You'll make a great girl.”

Kuroko tossed a wadded up paper napkin at the blond. “I like my maleness just fine, thank you, Kise-kun.”

Akashi drummed his fingers on the table to draw their attention. “I am waiting, gentlemen.”

Aomine and Kise flinched and shuffled backwards at his nonchalant voice. They were sure they heard an underlying threat in his tone. Kuroko rolled his eyes and grabbed Akashi’s arm before he could do anything drastic, speaking matter-of-factly to the duo. “Just pretend you’re talking about Seiyuuka-san. Did you think she was anything but a girl?”

The two kept their silence.

Momoi spoke this time, trying to coax an answer out of them. “Look at Sei-chan. Just look at her, and say what you think.”

“I won’t bite.” Akashi said in Seiyuuka's voice. The transformation was instant, the switch from deadly to harmless taking less than a heartbeat. The redhead reached out and tugged on Kise’s sleeve, her eyes wide and teary. “Am I really so repulsive to you, Kise-sama?” She turned to Aomine, clasping her hands to her chest. “Aomine-san, won’t you look at me?”

Kise bit his lip at that beguiling tone, guilt filling his chest at the loneliness in that voice. Despite his knowledge of the truth, he was enraptured by the illusion of innocence before him, completely taken in by the vision that was the redhead. He couldn’t stop the words from exiting his mouth. “Don’t say that, Seiyuuka-san. You’re a perfectly good person.”

“A-am I?” Seiyuuka lowered her head demurely. “You don’t think I’m ugly?”

“Why do pretty girls always say that?” Aomine complained. He, too, was caught up in the weave of Akashi’s acting. “You're pretty, alright? Prettier than Satsuki.”

Momoi gasped behind his back, a betrayed “Dai-chan!” escaping her. If the blond and blunette took notice, they did not show it.

“You two are too kind.” Seiyuuka murmured. “But neither of you like me.”

“Huh? Of course we like you!” Kise protested.

Seiyuuka glanced up at them, then looked away quickly, hiding her tear-filled eyes. “Liars. You prefer Tetsuna-chan.”

“Oi, just ‘cause I like Tetsu better doesn’t mean I can’t like you right? You seem decent.” Aomine cut in.

Seiyuuka kept her back turned, not saying a word. Aomine was about to reach for and shake her when her shoulders straightened and she turned back to them, eyes piercing.

“Comments?” The sound of Akashi’s voice snapped Kise and Aomine back to reality, and they stared at the redhead with renewed horror.

“A-a-a-akashicchi is a very good actor,” Kise stammered when he finally found his voice.

Akashi sighed. “Details, Kise.”

“You sound just like a girl,” Aomine put in. “As whiny as one too.”

To their surprise, Akashi and Kuroko smiled. “That's the general idea. Any other observations?”

“Your makeup is gorgeous. Did you do it yourselves?”

Kuroko chuckled lightly. “Of course Kise-kun would notice that. Yes, we did our makeup ourselves.”

“Our clothes as well.” Akashi added. “Do we pass for real girls?”

“Akashi, I think the answer is obvious. Stop badgering them.” Midorima cut in.

“You say that because you’re in on the secret. I want an unbiased opinion.”

Kise suddenly brightened, having remembered something. “Akashicchi, my manager asked if I could get the two mysterious girls to come model for us. Does that count?"

Akashi and Kuroko exchanged a gleeful look. Akashi raised an eyebrow, and Kuroko nodded shortly. "Very much so. Would your manager mind if we took her up on that offer?"

Kise looked taken aback, but quickly recovered. "She was hoping to snatch them – uh, you guys – before any other agency did. I could call her if you're interested...?"

The redhead and blunette grinned eagerly at him. "If you don't mind, Kise-kun. We would love to accept the offer."

"Kise, ensure that your manager knows our true identities. I would not like to shock her should she assume we are female and later discover otherwise."

"Uh, yeah, okay." Kise backed away, clutching his phone. "I'll be right back."

Midorima sighed as the blond disappeared into the shadows of the café. "Akashi, isn't this going a bit too far?"

The redhead waved a dismissive hand at him. "For science, Midorima, there is no sacrifice that cannot be made. The same goes for the stand for women's rights."

Aomine suddenly looked more awake. "What are you talking about?"

Kuroko gave him a sour look. "Surely Aomine-kun did not assume we were dressing up as girls for no good reason?"

Aomine had the grace to look sheepish. "Well, Tetsu–"

"Enough. Save your lewd fantasies." Akashi interrupted. "If you want to hear our motive for this project, you will have to wait until Kise returns. I dislike repeating myself."

As if on cue, the blond reappeared. "Akashicchi, she says it doesn't matter as long as you look enough like a girl. She'll call you to arrange a date to start."

"Excellent. Thank you, Kise." Akashi waved him to a seat, nodding at Kuroko when everyone was seated. "I am sure you are all dying of curiousity, and I will not keep you in suspense any longer. We will explain the dynamics behind our idea of crossdressing."

Kuroko started. "As we all know, females in our society are treated unfairly as compared to the males. Women are constantly harassed behind the scenes, and men seem to enjoy putting them in uncomfortable situations."

"It is not fair to these women, who are as capable – if not more so – than the men, to be degraded and suppressed in such a manner. After all, men would not treat other men the same way." Akashi paused. "Theoretically, of course."

"Excluding homosexual men – based on the assumption that they would act with more discretion – the same actions cannot be expected of heterosexual men. Such an one would definitely ogle a lovely woman unabashedly in public." Kuroko continued. "What would happen then, if the tables were turned?"

Akashi picked up his unfinished thought. "If a heterosexual man happened to be staring at a lady, but the woman in question was not actually female, what would his reaction be then? Would he be more aware of who he chooses to lay his eyes on? Would he think twice before subjecting a lady to the uncomfortable weight of his unhealthy gaze?

"In simpler terms, we are trying to make men more aware of their shortcomings when the situation turns out to be completely unlike what it seemed to be at first glance. Kise," The blond jumped when he was called, "What was your first thought when you found out it was us and not some pretty girl?"

"Horror?" Kise tried. "It's scary to think about you as a girl, Akashicchi."

Akashi nodded shortly. "Aomine."

"Tetsu's really pretty, even though he's flat–"

"Moving on." Kuroko raised his voice. "The point is, most heterosexual men would think twice about having lewd thoughts if the lady was actually a man."

"Following that train of thought, our experiment aims to raise awareness among men that it is neither polite nor acceptable to stare at women  as if they are property to be conquered and owned." Akashi said. "From the current results, I think we may have a chance of succeeding."

"Akashi, your current sample size consists of Kise and Aomine."

"There will be more soon." Akashi said airily. "Kise's manager offered us a job, no? Results will pour in soon enough."

"Aka-chin really wants to change the world, ne~?"

"It's not a bad thing, Mukkun." Momoi chirped. "I, for one, would be very grateful if Akashi-kun and Tetsu-kun succeed."

There was a chorus of agreement all around. In the midst of it, the cerulean-haired boy and the redhead shared a secret smile.

What they didn't know wouldn't disadvantage them.

x.x.x.x.x

"Will Akashi-kun ever tell them?"

"Midorima knows. Murasakibara suspects. I am certain Momoi knows as well. The other two do not need to know. If they find out on their own, I am obliged to stop the rumour mill, but they are free to draw their own conclusions."

Kuroko sighed. "It's not a difficult thing to share with your friends, Akashi-kun."

"That's only because you accept me fully for who I am." Akashi tweaked Kuroko's nose, leaning in to press a kiss to his temple. "Thank you always for that gift."

"Everyone deserves acceptance. I admit, I find women's clothing strangely liberating."

"One of the many reasons why I prefer dressing that way. Now help me choose. A low-cut dress, or this one with the sweetheart neckline?"

" _Akashi-kun_."

"Pick your secondary embarrassment, Kuroko."

A long-suffering sigh. "Sweetheart neckline."

"Thank you. I'll see you in a few minutes."

"You mean an hour, Seiyuuka-san."

"We'll see if I feel like putting on makeup."

"You always do."

"Shush. Now get out. I'm going to change."

**Author's Note:**

> I got the experiment idea from this post I saw on FB once, about a guy who dressed like a woman so other men would think twice about looking at women lewdly. But basically I wrote this because I wanted to have an Akashi who liked dressing in women's clothing :3 Hope you enjoyed!


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